5-The Morning After the Apocalypse (Bacon-Tea Fondue)

By: Leah Lastname

12 strips of crispy, extra-greasy bacon, 1 cup of strong English Breakfast tea (steeped to a dark, murky abyss), 1 block of sharp Swiss cheese, 1/2 cup heavy cream, 1 tsp loose-leaf tea leaves (for "texture")

1. The Liquid Void: Heat the English Breakfast tea in a small pot until it reaches a rolling, agitated boil. 2. The Cheese Integration: Slowly melt the Swiss cheese into the tea-cream mixture, whisking violently until the liquid is a thick, brownish-yellow sludge. 3. The Tea Infusion: Stir in the loose-leaf tea leaves so they float like tiny, drowned seaweed in the cheese pool. 4. The Bacon Torches: Cut the crispy bacon into long, thick strips to act as edible dipping spears. 5. The Ritual: Dip the bacon into the tea-cheese sludge, ensuring a heavy coating of both grease and tannic liquid. 6. Consumption: Consume while sitting in a dark room, contemplating the collapse of culinary civilization.

Chaos Level: 18

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